blah :/

I don't really have anywhere else to vent about this, so here it goes.  Today marks 2 weeks and 3 days of DAILY bleeding.  Thanks to this (not so)wonderful birth control, Implanon Rod.  I read the reviews of people complaining about some breakthrough bleeding before I had it put in, but over 2 weeks? This is ridiculous.  Now, I think my real period is about to start soon. Blah :(  A little bit of spotting doesn't really bother me, but it's a lot of spotting....every...single...day.  It makes me feel yucky and not so attractive.  I miss my days of going 36 to 40 days without bleeding at all.  My husband wants me to get it removed, BUT then he wants to get a vasectomy. I don't want that.  I'm not saying I want another baby right this instant, but I think I want Elijah to have a younger brother or sister in the future...maybe when he is in pre-k.  I understand where my husband is coming from.  These past two years have been so crazy, stressful, heartbreaking, and so on.  Elijah has been such a relief to all the mess.  It would be hard to be pregnant with a little kid because I would still have to be on bedrest, but I think and hope that one day that we can try it again.  We have a lot of people here to help us.  I know there's no guarantee that things would work out again, but is it so wrong to hope?  So, I'm trying to just suck it up and keep the Implanon.  I think Daniel will change his mind when Elijah gets a bit older, though.  That's what I keep telling myself at least.

As yucky and lethargic as I feel right now, Elijah makes me feel a million times better.  He's rolling over like crazy.  If I leave the room for just a second, he's rolled over from his back to his tummy and started scooting(a very slow process for him, though. It takes him like 10 minutes to get to a toy that's a foot away.  It still amazes me, though).  It wasn't originally in our plans for me to stay home with Elijah, but I'm so glad it's worked out that way.  I love spending all this time with him and experiencing all these first milestones.