pregnancy #4

Implanon was removed April 3rd. I felt sick on May 8th, took a pregnancy test, and it was positive. I'm so shocked, happy, and nervous. My doctor's nurse seemed kind of surprised, too. They brought me in for blood work on Monday and my hcg levels were 5,000, so they are guessing I'm about 5 weeks. I'll have my first ultrasound on Monday (the 18th) to see. I'm so anxious. If I am about 5 weeks and everything goes smoothly, I'll be getting a cerclage in late July. 

I do feel bad. My sister has been off the Mirena for a year and she has not gotten pregnant. I know she's happy for me, but I also know that she has to be hurting and bitter. She won't talk to me about it, so I'm just trying not to talk to get about the baby stuff too much. I love her, and I wish I could change her situation. For the most part of our ttc journies, our situations have been very similar. We both lost two pregnancies due to incompetent cervix and we both have brought home a healthy baby. So, I just hope to say or not say the right things to her and just not be painful for her to see. We've been really close since our losses, and I'd hate to ruin that. 

Also, we've had a ton of "hopefully this time it's a girl" comments. I know some people are just messing with my husband, but I honestly don't care what the gender is. I just want a healthy baby. A girl would be fun, but Elijah would probably have fun with a little brother. 

So anyways I'm trying to find a balance between being happy, nervous, and not hurting my sister. I needed a place to kind of talk about it so here I am.