*Warning: This blog will sound horribly bitter. I'm just venting.*
I wish I could just hide away from everybody until I feel "normal" again. I know that it's been almost a month since Joshua came and left us, but I can't seem to get over it. I know that life must go on and I can't expect other people to stop living, but I feel like I can't catch my breath.
My sister-in-law had her little boy today. I remember her complaining a week after I had Joshua that she was tired of carrying her baby and wanted him to hurry up. Her first daughter lives with my husband's parents, not with her. I'm so bitter and jealous. My husband said it was "God's call" and we just need to have faith. But, I feel so cheated. It's like a slap in the face that she can have her baby boy and my son had to die. I've read so many stories online about suffering mothers or ladies who are trying to be mothers, but they can't seem to get their rainbow babies. It's so disheartening that couples, who really wants babies, can't have them, and other people can . . .
Ugh. I wish I could just stop feeling like this. It's so ridiculous. I don't have a right to be so judgmental, but I can't help it . . . .
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