waiting to POAS(possible triggers) and having a big regret...

To all the ladies who have went on the TTC boards or BBC, you know that POAS means "pee on a stick."  For those who haven't been on there, they are referring to a pregnancy test.  I'm going to start trying to POAS at 8dpo(days past ovulation), which I *think* is next Wednesday.  I hope it is positive so I can call up my OB and just cancel my "6 week" postpartum for next Thursday, which she pushed to 9 weeks because she was "busy."  I know everyone will think it's too soon, but I feel like having a brother or sister for Matthew & Joshua here on Earth will give me some peace...I know it sounds weird.

The POAS wait is horribly slow.  I'm slightly impatient, though.  If I do get pregnant this cycle, I'll be due around December 27th.  That is right around the time my rainbow niece was born(December 16th) :)

I'm still narrowing down which doctor I will use when I do get pregnant again.  It's down to two.  One is a lady that a few face2face members recommended.  This doctor lost a pregnancy at 16 weeks so she understands baby loss and really cares for her patients.  The other doctor is the oncall doctor who came to see me in the hospital.  He was such a sweetheart and didn't understand why I didn't have a cerclage with my second pregnancy. I've heard wonderful things about him, also.  As I started researching and trying to choose, I was overwhelmed with guilt. I really should've changed doctors with my last pregnancy and demanded a cerclage.  I just knew deep in my heart that I had an incompetent cervix but I figured that she was the professional and she "knew" better.  Ah, I regret that.

Anyways, I know that some of you BLM's have been down lately and I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you all.  My prayers go out to you ladies!